Nashikida-DayLa-May

It's been a while since I've really been on DA aside from looking up a favorite artist or finding a favorite picture. I just wanted to put out a quick update for those who are interested.

I am no making Jewel Beetle Wing Jewelry for my mothers store front. She owns Gaudy Geek here in Salt Lake City and is trying to sell them on line next. If there is one you like that I have a pic of let me know. If people start getting curious about the prices of them I'll start including that with the pics as well. 

It seems one more great person was taken from me before the new year. Stephanie Schrom was a marvelous photographer, and a great person to laugh with. She was an explorer, a comedian, and an artist. Her life became exceedingly difficult this past year, and she took it out on herself. She ended her life this past Saturday. I'll miss her dearly and wish the best for her.

"Betrayal is the biggest mistake you cannot fix. No matter what you say, or what you do, your actions speak louder than words. And the past affects the present no matter how much you want to deny it. This time, there's no going back. A heart can only take so much before it caves in. And mine has been demolished.

The sad thing is, there's still hope. You're just not part of it anymore. While you had your back turned to me, while you were bemoaning your own shallow problems, someone stepped up and took my hand. Someone smiled at me and promised to help me. To help me with you. Never asking for more than my smile in return.

He loves me like you never did. Like you never could. He makes me smile even when I want to yell. He listens to me and lets me vent. He knows I know the answers, but he wont tell me to 'get the fuck over it' he smiles and says he understands. You never did. How can I let you back when you hurt me so badly?

How can I still care so deeply for someone who shattered my heart?"

I put this on here because I wanted to get it off my chest. But Facebook would get the wrong kind of attention. I don't want people prying into my life with pity. I just want to vent and go on my way. Sometimes people read what I say, others don't bother. That's ok. I know I put it out to the Universe, and the Universe will see it. And I'll be ok. No matter how badly I want to give up.

Tell someone today that you love them. Whether it's your parents, your lover, your sisters or brothers, even the old lady next door. Tell them what they mean to you. To those people who changed your life, let them know as well. It could change their world.

Yesterday, one of the most amazing people in my world took his life. No one knows why. Dan Good was a vet who put the animals first, his parents next, and himself last. He grew the most amazing gardens and shared what he grew with his patients. He was the first to crack a joke and offer to help. His death sent a shock to all of the rescue world here in Utah. He will be missed.

So, I've been kinda depressed recently and haven't drawn anything. The reason I've been depressed? Well it really sucks.

So we fostered a two week old kitten named Meep. He had Cerebral Hypoplasia. www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAffeH… It doesn't hurt the cat, just makes it hard for them to walk. We had Meep for three months before things started getting bad.

In that time, we ended up with 5 new born, bottle feed kittens. That's where things started to suck. On a Monday, we lost one of the kittens. Tuesday, another one died. Wednesday another, Thursday another, then Friday and Saturday we had no issues. Late Saturday night, the last bottle feed kitten died. Sunday morning we realized something was wrong with Meep. We rushed him to the emergency vet where they took care of him as best they could. But they had to do an X-ray. Meep's heart couldn't take it and he went into cardiac arrest. The vets couldn't bring him back.

So my week from hell consisted of 6 kittens dying as well as my favorite wobbly baby.

Not the best way to spend summer break. All this happened last July. It's been hard to get over so much death. In all my 11 years rescuing cats, I've never lost so many at once.

Just so ya'll know, I'm not going to fall into depression for too long. I'm already going through kitten therapy with four new babies and a bottle feed. You can't stay sad when a kitten is trying to attack your eye lashes.